The Crappiest Essay Ever Written is an LLB written by u/ShittyJeansArse.
Plot[]
30 YEARS AGO[]
The LLB starts after school for Frank and Robert. Frank decides to shit all over Robert's face, which scares him so much that he moves out.
PRESENT DAY[]
Greg returned to school, and finds out that the subsitute teacher, Robert Jefferson, had taken over for the rest of the year, as the original teacher had gotten executed. So he hands in his movie report, which traumatizes Robert for some reason. Greg snaps him out of it. This is where Robert revealed that he found Greg's last name being familiar since he had gone to school with Frank years ago. After this, Mr. Jefferson decides that he'll take the essay home to grade it.
That night, Rowley was watching a movie, but heard his dad making very strange noises. The next day, Greg received his essay back, and got an A+ on it. So that Frank could see it, Susan tries to hang it up. But she asks why is it brown all of a sudden. Greg explains that when he received it, he saw how Robert had a shit-eating grin, and when he smells it, it smells like Cheetos and not chocolate. Greg and Susan then lick the essay and realize that Robert had shat all over it.
This gets to where they invite Vice Principal Roy to the house to interrogate Robert. After a while, Robert snaps and tells a massive sob story about that her had shat on it because he was traumatized, and how Frank had called it his "chocolate sloppy joes". Rowley had actual chocolate sloppy joes (which are just regular ones but instead of manwich sauce its chocolate sauce) and he became a teacher to lure Greg into his trap. And he's happy to have finally gotten his revenge.
After this, Susan and Frank switch into Abusive Mode and argue about how they wouldn't have married if Susan knew Frank shat all over Robert all those years ago. Robert gets fired, and Frank goes out of the house to get milk. The next week, both Robert and Frank are now homeless and begging for money. Greg almost felt bad but he didn't considering the shit they pulled. So he decides to offer some "candies" to them, and by this, he decides to fart into their faces to get back at them.
Greg mentions that he's learned a very valuable lesson: never shit on essays or peoples' faces, or else your life will go to complete shit. But it's also perfectly fine to fart in the faces of homeless people since they can't do anything to fight back.
Trivia[]
- This LLB was based on Teacher TAKES A HUGE 💩 on STUDENT'S ESSAY! What Happens Next... | SAMEER BHAVNANI, a video by Sameer Bhavnani.[1]
- The video in question won a voting contest on what life lesson video would be turned into a LLB.
- The first page of the LLB was actually marked NSFW due to its subject matter, a first for any LLB written by u/ShittyJeansArse.
- A version of the essay without any shit all over it was actually produced, but never properly released. It can be seen in the gallery below.
- This was the first u/ShittyJeansArse LLB to not be part of the Carltonverse.
