Temu Troubles is an LLB written by u/ShittyJeansArse, with editing done between him and his usual collaborator, Robowil. It is the third main entry in the Carltonverse series of LLBs.
Synopsis[]
The LLB begins in January, where Greg had been relaxing and having fun in Isla de Corales, after having gotten Shein shut down. Suddenly, Frank comes in, and gave him Sportzerz, the same shitty shoes from the dollar store Susan went to years ago.
Frank explains that he got it from Temu, which supposedly has "lots of high-quality stuff at insanely low prices". Greg gets suspicious, and goes to research it. His phone overheats from the site, so he went to his computer to research it. He finds out that it's basically Shein 2.0.
The next day, Albert Sandy tells him that he got a lot of stuff from Temu, but it all broke and he had to stop shopping there. Greg remembers it's like the shitty yoyo from the school, and he suspects it's from Temu as well. During dinner, as Frank had been replacing all of the family's stuff with Temu equivalents, he decides that he's going to auction off everything so he can get more Temu stuff.
Greg points out a double standard, on how Frank is sided with Temu despite having helped him shut down Shein. The next day, at the auction, Greg spreads lies on the stuff they were selling, by claiming that a Dora toy had been recalled 17 years ago since it contained lead paint. Susan also joins in, by spraying Liquid Ass in a room, and claiming that since the previous owners had shat all over the crucifix in the house, Satan cursed the house with a "Hail Satan virus", which answers a couple's question as to why a room smelled like farts, poop, and Satan's unholy asshole.
Frank freaks out and tries to stop Greg and Susan, but fails. Then he decides to force the family to go with him to the Temu Store that had opened up in the resort. Susan notices a hidden room there, and finds a sweatshop in it. Rodrick stinks the whole store up by sharting into the intercom. Then it shuts down, and Greg revamps the building into Carlton Central, which also goes to the readers worried about there being less British TV productions. Offhandedly, he mentions that Rodrick has to wear nappies (diapers in the US) for the rest of his natural born life, due to having sharted in his pants.
The next week, Greg is on high alert, and also got Temu banned from the resort. Frank is pissed, even after Susan suggested eBay. Later that night, during Super Bowl LVIII, he gets excited at the Temu ads on TV, and does a "personal foul" in his pants. This meant that he shat his pants when it comes on. Then Greg gets word that they were going to film more Temu ads in the resort, so Greg decides to take matters into his own hands.
At the Teen Zone, he notices the crew filming Temu ads, and also the fact that the director, Mr. Lyosea, is an alt-right Trump supporter, which Greg despises. Mom and Manny go to shut down the power, while Greg distracts the crew to buy them time. The power is somehow connected to a microwave, which is presumably a health code violation, according to an episode of King of the Hill. When Manny re-routes all the signals and such, Greg proceeds to expose Temu on international television.
Days later, Temu had shut down, and Frank is back to normal. The resort citizens all celebrate by a concert from Joop Vanderkoerp. And he's also glad that a kid on Part 5 had died from suffocating on a Burger King Pokeball toy that had been recalled.
Trivia[]
- The items being sold in the auction include:
- The Simpsons: Bart vs. the World for the NES
- A SpongeBob SquarePants plug-and-play console
- Dora the Explorer: Barnyard Buddies for the PS1
- Burger King Pokeball toys
- A Perplexus toy
- A Dora the Explorer figure