Diary of a wimpy kid : apocalypse now

Diary of a wimpy kidn;apocalypse now written by slick

June

monday

today was the last day of school and while everybody else has been ditching class or wanting to watch tv i have been wanting to join the millitary. Probably because i have been watching a lot of war movies like platoon and full metal jacket as well as the war in china going on so YOLO i guess!.

Tuesday

today was officially the first day of summer vacation and that means that your boy greg was gonna get enlisted i got myself a lyft to the plainview military base but what i saw was crazy!.i saw rodrick was there alongside holly heather rowley! chirag fregley george harold wheel and barrow spuckler filipe and patrick!.they all somehow faked their ages to join the war but that does not matter because we are all in for a long helicopter ride.

wednesday

today we finally made it to bejing the reason is because we have to stop this kid named curtis litz who is a crazy cult leader from stealing the usas technology and eating people .anyways during our flight we got ambushed by by some soldier but somehow we survived! because we all held on together but rolwey died because he fell off womp womp little bro.anyways we ended up on a helicopter in Yunnan so im scared but as the guy from fortnite would say 'good soliders follow orders'.

Thursday

So we finally made it to Yunnan but now i kind of regret it .when we got there i saw some deep fried mutilated bodies on the table and i saw some villagers being tortured by being showed the loud house fanart and there was this guy i think his name is like chives who curtis kepy asking to make him apple cider for some reason i was scared so i drank some pepsi am and i threw a grenade to try and kill curtis but i accidently killed rodrick! i got scared so me and the boys ended up running but wheel got sliced with a machete and barrow had to go to the hospital for bleeding.

friday

You know what i had enough i am tired of just starving here on a sampan in the middle of the ocean so me george harold filepe patrick chirag fregley holly and heather all swam to Yunnan and i found a grenade and i decided to throw it at curtis And it worked! and i also freed chives and the poor villagers by destroying the tvs .we later found a cruise ship that at first pretended not to see us but then we scaled on some suction cups and we hijacked the ship and i we had some trouble steering and oh my god what the fu-

Monday

wow i have not written in this thing for a while so basically i washed up in Minsk and i lost my diary and that dad died after losing his edging streak to kyle gordon. but at least i got a new diary and i have some new friends so thats cool i also forgot that during the war i got a t t t time machine and i went back in time to drive mom to the abortion clinic to stop manny from existing.

the end

2006 honda civic

dont look at this image at 3am