Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Road Rage is an LLB written by u/AcryBoi, who also wrote Greg Fucks Up.
Characters[]
- Greg Heffley (Road Rage)
- Rodrick Heffley (Road Rage)
- Frank Heffley (Road Rage)
- Susan Heffley (Road Rage)
- Manny Heffley (Road Rage)
Plot[]
April[]
Thursday[]
Greg starts the journal describing how his dad is a "fucking psychopath". Greg explains that he has always had the short end of the stick with his dad, saying he is the one who has been physically attacked the most, had cold showers ran on him for no reason and had his privacy violated the most, all done by Frank. Greg says that this is what happened today with Frank attacking him. Frank exclaims that he is "tired of cleaning your [Greg's] spunk off the bathroom walls".
Greg says he has had enough of his dad always coming after him for every minor inconvenience. Greg presumes that Frank is mad ever since Susan stopped having sex with him since Manny was born. Greg explains that his dad can't go after Manny because Manny is "onwy thwee" (six really) and his mom incredibly protective of Manny, threatening to make Frank sleep on the couch if he ever goes at Manny. Greg says that Rodrick once told him that their mom is a lesbian because he saw that she had a strap-on in her purse before she left for work last week. Greg explains that this might be wrong because Rodrick is addicted to ketamine and once had to ask Greg for help at 3:00 AM because he saw a fairy at the foot of his bed.
Greg says that there is something wrong with Rodrick and so he should not be believed. Greg says that this is why their dad doesn't bother Rodrick anymore, because 9 times out of 10 Rodrick is despondent and even their mom has given up on Rodrick and Greg thinks Rodrick will die of an overdose one day. Greg says that this is why he is the prime target for Frank's anger and it is like walking on eggshells to even look at him. Greg says he is looking forwards to the day someone decides to beat the shit out of his dad.
Friday[]
Manny tries to kill Frank. Their dad managed to throw Tingy away and this drove Manny mad causing Manny and their dad to start fighting. Greg and Rodrick hear glass breaking in the kitchen so they go check it out and watch the fight. Greg is shocked by Manny's strength and even acknowledges that Manny might be able to knock him out. Greg says Manny was wailing on their dad while their dad has Manny pinned down. Their dad yells at Manny to "stay down you little piece of shit" while pinning him.
Rodrick and Greg watch as the fight continues and Greg describes it as "Dad getting bitched by a six year old" and the fight continues until Manny bites Frank on the finger until Frank begins to bleed. Frank screams in pain as Manny runs away. Rodrick wets himself laughing and Greg stares at in horror. When Frank sees Rodrick laughing he is furious and was about to attack him. Manny returns with a knife and says that "I kiww you now, ploopy bitch!!!" and charges at Frank. Greg and Rodrick take the chance to flee. Susan opens the door and sees the chaos. Manny drops the knife and runs to Susan crying, explaining that their dad threw away Tingy and wanted to kill Greg and Rodrick. Mom gets mad at Frank and ignores his bleeding finger. Mom sends Manny, Rodrick and Greg upstairs so that she and Frank can "talk".
Greg and Rodrick don't go upstairs and instead eavesdrop from the living room and explains that their mom and dad have been arguing for a few hours. Their mom tells Frank to either "take them to your brother's and I deal with tomorrow or you pack your things and go." Greg laments that that he won't be able to watch porn until Monday.
Saturday[]
Frank had picked the first option, and everyone's in the car going to Uncle Joe's. It's quiet and awkward in the car, and Greg also mentioned how Frank looked traumatized from Manny trying to murder him the previous day but Greg says he should have known better than to try throw Tingy away. This reminds Greg of the time when Rodrick had taken Manny's iPad as the latter watched Rule 34 of Net Kritters. As such Manny attempted to gouge Rodrick's eye out with a spoon, which would then lead Rodrick to his ketamine addiction as it helped to "ease his mind" but Greg says it has done more harm than good because now Rodrick is off the deep end with it.
Susan was still furious, which Greg mentions as "a divorce waiting to happen". When Frank tries to speak to her, she tells him to "shut up and drive". Manny watches Greg write in his journal with a huge shit-eating grin on his face and Greg says that Manny is actually crazy. Greg decides to take a nap as it's still early in the morning, and it will take an hour or two until they get to Uncle Joe's place.