Carlton Origins is an LLB written by u/ShittyJeansArse, with editing done between him and his usual collaborator, Robowil. While it is the fourth main entry in the Carltonverse series of LLBs, it is the first one in chronological order, and is a prequel to Isla de Corales: Revisited.
Synopsis[]
June[]
The LLB begins at the store, where Susan was talking to a friend of her's. Greg excuses to go to the movies section, and notices a VHS tape that was for sale. It had "Carlton" on it, and for the sheer novelty, Greg buys it. At home, Greg puts the tape in, and witnesses the best thing he's ever seen in his entire life: a 1996-1999 Carlton bumper by Lambie-Nairn. He proceeds to watch the bumper on loop for the next 24 hours, but then Susan stops him by telling him to touch grass.
Greg goes to Rowley's house, and he tells about the beautiful thing he saw on the videocassette. It turns out Rowley also loves Carlton, and they go on the computer to watch a compilation of their bumpers. While they absolutely love them, Rowley is scared of the Queen Elizabeth II one, to the point where he shits his pants.
Greg becomes enlightened, and comes up with an idea to start a Carlton-ing business. As he and Rowley plan this out, Linda Jefferson comes in and tells them that they could watch a CBeebies Greatest Hits DVD they have. Greg is disgusted, and then horrified since the DVD has the Tweenies episode, "Favourite Songs". That episode was banned due to Jimmy Savile being in it, and it's revealed that Linda idolizes that disgraced children's show host.
As such, Linda gets arrested. Greg comments that the worst part of her crimes was trying to force the duo to watch dirtgirlworld, a show he dubs as "an actual fucking piece of diarrhea". He tells the British viewers that this is what their taxpayer money and TV license fee stuff is funding. After this mishap, the duo finally set up the Carlton-ing, and Greg proclaims that they are "gonna start Carlton-ing up in this bitch". Rowley is acting weird due to his mom's BBC influence, so he has to be Carltonized. As such, Rowley gets enlightened.
Then the duo takes a Cool Brian van and repaints it into a CarltonMobile. Their first customer was a kid who's parents forced him to watch Blue Peter, as they banned him from watching Family Guy. (in spite of the fact that Family Guy is a good show due to Peter Griffin)
Greg and Rowley liberate the kid from those "sailor shitfucks" of Blue Peter, and head on to their next customer. This customer is consumed by Max Design Pro's brainrot content farm, so they (alongside a bunch of other kids) drown this out with farting and shit like that. Then the customer is enlightened.
After this, Greg gets home, and finds out that not only is his family being viewed in a dysfunctional perspective, but that it's now broken beyond repair and that they're overflowing with emotions. Susan and Frank had become domestic abusers, while Manny writes about this in his first journal.
Greg tries to cheer his parents on to keep abusing the family, but ends up getting decked in the face. Seconds later, Greg wakes up, feels woozy, and his grammar rapidly deteriorates. Then Frank and Susan announce that they got tickets to Isla de Corales, and that they had inheritance money from Walter Disney. Greg, not caring about his shitty grammar, boards the plane, and the family sets off for their next adventure...
Trivia[]
- This LLB got involved in a somewhat minor controversy, where OogliBoi tried to get the author banned from r/LodedDiper over this LLB, the moment the first part came out. This did not come to fruition, and this would also cause OogliBoi to become one of the most hated members in the entire Diary of a Wimpy Kid community.
- This and Isla de Corales: Revisited are the only Carltonverse LLBs to lack the "Child-friendly ending assures everyone is rescued and lives happily ever after!" sticker.
Gallery[]
